And, since I don't have a top-notch memory, it also requires keeping a handy list in my phone.The logic behind multi-dating isn’t rooted so much in the need to distract oneself with a bunch of dudes following a breakup (although it totally can be) as it is in what men have long called "playing the field.” And, it's certainly not a new concept.When I was looking for love, I often dated up to three guys simultaneously.I wasn't trying to hit some number in the Guinness Book of World Records.My friend P (and no, her real name is not just a letter but if you're friends with P, then you're friends with me) put it best."Assume people are sleeping with other people unless they ask or say otherwise," she says. You're not hanging all your hopes on this coffee right now either? As P puts it, "Don't feel guilty about seeing more than one person, because you can make it weird, and don't overshare about more than one person." If they ask you what you're doing on Saturday, tell them you are "busy." If they ask what you're doing, tell them you're "meeting up with a friend." If they ask which friend, defer, or lie.It turns out, the secret to finding love and commitment is not committing too soon.So many of my clients ask me whether dating more than one man at a time is a wise idea.
Nina, a 25-year-old accountant living in Chicago, started hers after a four-year relationship ended. And, Monica*, a 25-year-old producer in New York City, can also echo the experience.Dating is really just a string of dicey etiquette questions, but how do you talk to the person you're dating about the other people you're dating? With online dating becoming more and more popular, it's only going to become increasingly common to see these questions come up, and, honestly, they should! What do I say to a partner when things are starting to get more serious with that other person?L, a friend I can only describe as having advanced degrees in the science of online dating, says, "My personal experience is that people don't worry about what is happening as much as they do how it is happening.It might be sucky that you're not going to be free for the next week, but it is good that you responded to the text quickly.